For a long time I ignored my husband’s attacks and thought that it would pass. Some things that cause stress for you and your partner can't be solved right now. Getting things out into the open may help you both. I have cancer in my pelvis, small bowel & around my liver. After 22+years together sadly,my husband views me as “damaged goods” now since being diagnosed last Jan.with breast cancer,undergoing a double mastectomy,chemo,and now the hormonal therapy.I’m honestly not sure (@present anyway) which exactly has/is…hurts me most! He has to work through this part by himself. Hi there. I have caught him looking at porn. Anger is a significant element of grief, and when you're in the throes of grief, it's hard to recognize that your anger really stems from the grief, the helplessness, and the fear. While I tried not to be a downer for all, I just do not have the energy to meet the expectations of all...so I avoided people while on chemo. I can't even try and know what she is going through. My husband went from making me feel like I was the only one .after we got married he change he started me thinking . My husband and I have been married for 46 years, mostly very happily. Some couples find it easier to talk about serious issues than other couples. You can also plan these dates to include other people, if you miss being around others. Right? There is no manual for Husbands of cancer, we are left to find our own way. I saw a shrink through my treatment, that helped...see if you can get him to a shrink. And I do mean a lot. It was much easier for her to take the pills and easier for us to make adjustments as needed... while she was not angry.... this helped with her energy level, nausea and overall well being. And on a purely practical level, I figure I may well become a serious burden on somebody before I'm done by no choice of my own, so they don't need me to be a PITA before the fact. I suffer from Panic Disorder, I am being treated and would be considered 'stable' now. I can only imagine you feel alone. I know I snapped at her a few times. Sometimes we have very vivid dreams need to take notice of these. You may want to decide what tasks to share and if other people in your life could help with them. Only you and your partner know how you feel about this. There are many reasons why your husband treats you poorly and gets angry with you for no reason. She did not speak the language so she was stuck, too. Nearly all couples feel more stress than usual when cancer occurs. The urologist told my husband that we need to meet with the Cancer Team - a urologist, a radiologist & some one else he can't recall in February Does that mean that my husband cheated on me?” The patient was educated about transmission, clearance, and risks of HPV. I’m imperfect and I embrace the real me. My own experiences and feelings tell me when my Hearty drops in on a visit. Apple of my eye. And in turn, make sure you help your partner. we have a kid as well, we had a very nice conjugal life, though he is inan extra marital affair with another girl.. Remind yourself that there is a future after cancer. I went to the same horrible experience with my husband, he used to be the most loving husband and the evil cancer turn my dear husband into a monster. Some types of cancer can run in families. “For about a year now, I have gradually felt my husband of twenty-two years pulling away from me and our family. 6.30pm that evening ‘Rob, I’ve got cancer’. I've been known to be a tad judgmental, arrogant, and snappish under certain conditions in the past, but if anything, I've become less that way since. I can honestly say that I rarely feel lonely alone, yes, but there´s a big difference between that and loneliness. ... of your situation, and support for you, because as a guy, this whole idea is just foreign to me. I think m… My husband and I went through something similar, and this was in some ways the most difficult part of the cancer experience, and it was further compounded by well-meaning friends telling us how this experience would only bring us closer and show us how much we love each other (that comes later, but not during chemo when you're just trying to make it through). I see my momma trying to do that sometimes. 6 years to be exact. I felt so bad about not being able to drive much. But you carry him so when he does come around that will carry you. Others are weakened. Sometimes I feel like it would be easier to just think it wasn't there. I've developed zero tolerance for that, and in those cases I just don't associate with them, because I know I'd be tempted to rip them a new one (which they might or might not deserve). Some relationships get stronger during cancer treatment. ‘I’ll go on my own, if I’m going to kark it I doubt it’ll be before 8pm’. I wasn't conciously mean or hateful, but maybe I could have been better at times. I know it's hard but trust me he needs you to be there without being THERE, if that makes any sense. Ive talked with friends about it too, had g/fs tell me that they have had b/fs that were cancers and acted the same way! Looking at other women. I saw a shrink when I was caregiving my mother in law. Together you can meet with your doctor and learn about common symptoms, your treatment choices, and their side effects. I am 64, he is 70, and we have two sons. That would make most people mean, at least for awhile. Wow! He/you must for your marriage's sake, speak with a oncology social worker, this will help tremendously. She was an utter ***** 80% of the time, so when I read this I thought to myself, "I would never be that way with my caregivers!" I pray for all of us. But if you don't feel like your communication needs are being met, you may want to seek help from a counselor or social worker. On the contrary, he started to criticize, mock at me and use rude words even more often. The situation is cancer. I'm a 46 year old female. That's annoying. Talk about what decisions you should make together and which ones you should make alone. The thing that bothers me … He'll come around. That can mean renting a movie, going out to eat or for an event, or looking through old photos. He was particularly awful when the news was the worst, such as when he found out he the cancer had spread through too many lymph nodes to merit surgery. He liked to try my nerves and see how much I could stand. I came to know recenty that these 2 were eyeing each other. Usually, people move beyond the anger to other emotions, and hopefully your husband will, too. They often feel stress about: It helps to know that people express their emotions in different ways. The wife and I, and a whole raft of friends, have been doing stuff together almost 24/7, and it's almost impossible not to feel constant gratitude. Some relationships get stronger during cancer treatment. You both need each other and there may be times you won't be able to lean on each other. There is this married virgo woman in our group. My husband says he was doing that. But I'd like to just talk about how it's going and how we're feeling." My husband got the call on Thursday night from his urologist - following a biopsy the previous week - the biopsy was done because the urologist said his PSA was elevated. It was insane and things changed significantly as he started weaning off of them. My husband has stage 3 lung cancer.He is responding to treatment.He has constantly retreated from me.He barely speaks to me,is very nasty and is more incosiderate than usual.Cancer is killing my marriage.I thought that we would deal with this together but hes so awful that i don't know how much i can take.He's been taking treatments for 5 months now and have shrunk the tumors over 50%.I … Then once a week why we watched tv, I would fill her pills. Now we sleep apart. Not to give 2nd thought to cancer. You're not alone, and it's okay to express that you have some needs, too--you're scared and vulnerable and in pain, too, and you need someone to support you just as much as he needs someone to support him. When my husband was diagnosed with cancer, everyone from doctors to colleagues to friends made it clear to me that this was his journey, his story. My husband for one. The best advice I can give you is to respect that HE is going through this and HE needs space. 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